The Four Agreements

Self Abuse

Posted on November 5th, by Albert in Accept, Love. No Comments

“In your whole life nobody has ever abused you more than you have abused yourself. And the limit of your self-abuse is exactly the limit that you will tolerate from someone else. If someone abuses you a little more than you abuse yourself, you will probably walk away from that person. But if someone abuses you a little less than you abuse yourself, you will probably stay in the relationship and tolerate it endlessly.

If you abuse yourself very badly, you can even tolerate someone who beats you up, humiliates you, and treats you like dirt. Why? Because in your belief system you say, “I deserve it. This person is doing me a favor by being with me. I’m not worthy of love and respect. I am not good enough.”

We have the need to be accepted and to be loved by … Read More »

Here’s your dog biscuit!

Posted on August 28th, by Albert in Children, Purpose, Your Path. No Comments

“Children are domesticated the same way that we domesticate a dog, a cat, or any other animal. In order to teach a dog we punish the dog and we give it rewards. We train our children whom we love so much the same way that we train any domesticated animal: with a system of punishment and reward. We are told, ‘You’re a good boy,’ or ‘You’re a good girl,’ when we do what Mom and Dad want us to do. When we don’t, we are a ‘bad girl’ or a ‘bad boy.’” – The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

This was disturbingly evident to me last night as I attended my daughter’s High School open house. It saddens me to witness this rigorous obstacle course set up for these kids in the name of education. It’s all about pushing them with … Read More »

It’s Nothing Personal

Posted on May 20th, by Albert in Choice, Discipline, Habits, Self-Criticism. No Comments

“When you make it a strong habit not to take anything personally, you avoid many upsets in your life. Your anger, jealousy, and envy will disappear, and even your sadness will simply disappear if you don’t take things personally.”

~ Don Miguel Ruiz from “The Four Agreements”

This is an awesome book if you’ve never read it. My Brother gave it to me as a gift after receiving it from his boss as gift, and what a gift. This book relieved me of at least 75% of the burden of dealing with other people in my life. My wife Lisa had the same reaction to it. If you have the time, this is a must read.